Situation Topic

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Situation Topic

Post  Spawny on Tue Mar 17, 2009 2:56 am

Right, here is the idea of this topic. You write down a situation, you dont have to had it before to write it down, tell how you would respond (or did).

The meaning of this post would be to see how others would respond/react on the situation that you wrote down here.

The main idea of this post is to make things discussable (if thats a word that is). Help people talk about things and get things of their chest. How to bring out your opinion, and not sit on the side line all the time. Get your butt in the conversation, talk about things but what ever happens keep showing respect to others opinion or idea's. If this post turns out to be a disaster... then i will ask isla or others that have admin rights here to delete this post. So behave Smile

Lets give it a try shall we?

Situation:

You have this realy realy realy good friend, best friend ever had. You know him/her for sooooo many years and you can share everything with him/her. After so many years, all of a sudden things start going bad for your friend. You see him/her losing intrest in life, things start getting akward arround him/her. Idea's change... in short: the air arround him/her gets realy dark..

you do your best to find out what happend, whats bugging him/her and if you can help. You repeadetly offer him/her your help and tell that your there, always and you'd do anything to make him/her smile again. You dont get a straight awnser, or nothing at all. After sometime it dissapears, like after rain comes the sun. Nothing wrong. Things go well again for a while. You still feel that something is there and hasnt been solved at all. A year passes and it starts going dark again arround him/her. But this time it goes realy realy realy fast and you see his/hers mental state going down like a free fall from a cliff. He/she dont tell anything or let no one in. After seeing all gone so bad.. there comes an evening and you receive a call from your friend to meet him/her at the bridge (over a train way if thats important to know). You arrive and find him/her sitting there. You do your best, and offer your help try cheer him/her up, tell not to give up and keep going. That life is beautiful and you cant just give up at it. That he/she is tallented and got a bright feature. Eventualy you see your friends face clear up. He/she tells everything that happend everything that has always remaint silent. You get the full story. After the story, you are deeply shocked. But you dont let him/her notice and be like a true carebear and tell him/her its gonna be alright that you will help and alot of other comforting words. Your friend just smiles and looks happy. You feel relief. Then as you starting the notice that something is still wrong, your friend stands up, gives you a hug and a kiss on the cheek wispering in your ear: "Thank you" and then jumps over the border infront of the train driving under the bridge...

years later... you meet a person, that both knew him/her (your best friend) and tells you something out which you come to the conclussion... it was your words that made him/her do it and all becomes clear to you.

My situation question bout all this is: How would you react to something like that? Do you think talking would actualy help? Is there a way you could prevent this? Have you been a bad friend? There are alot of questions i could ask... but i would like to see some respondses on this.

I know its a heavy topic to start with.. but i think its also something that not much people discuss openly. Thats the point why i made this topic. We are people from alot of diffrent places, diffrent backgrounds, ect. I want to see, if people would think alike... or diffrent? I have many reasons, but im not gonna write them down as i wanna see what you think (the reader)... and cos my fingers hurt of typing.

Hope to get some respondses to this

Cheers

~ Spawny aka Mahow
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Re: Situation Topic

Post  Elona Beowulf [lea] on Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:39 pm

I had a friend who is continuasly depressed. every once in a while i would drag his arse outta town and off to a friends place about an hour away where we would spend alot of time just chilling with noone to annoy us. it worked great.

He had his low points and his high points but i just took everyday as he seemes and tryed to do the things we enjoyed.

I think if he had topped himself i wouldn't blame myself in the situation you describe. He wouldn't share he wouldn't let me in there is nothing you can do. it's an aire tight situation. i would morne his loss and continue the same way we all do.
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Re: Situation Topic

Post  Spawny on Tue Mar 17, 2009 4:11 pm

Thnx for the comment.
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Re: Situation Topic

Post  Becca (lea) on Wed Mar 18, 2009 5:03 pm

Wow, Spawny, this is a heavy duty situation. If it was me, and i felt that my actions or words had made this person jump, i don't think i could live with myself...it would haunt me every day.....always wondering what else could i have done to make a difference in this persons life..to make them realize that life does suck at times but that it does get better. To make them realize what a wonderful, talented person they are and how much they have to offer. But then on the other hand, one can only do so much...only as much as the person is willing to hear or accept...so if this person was intent on jumping, nothing anybody could do would stop them. But i do feel that this person is very selfish to put a friend through that, make them think they were being helpful and then to make them watch....i realize this doesnt make much sense, but is best i can do, i dont have your gift with words. ((((((((((((((((((((((Jorre))))))))))))))))))))))

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Re: Situation Topic

Post  isla mann (Lea) on Wed Mar 18, 2009 10:21 pm

I think that people from differant age ranges will have differant answers on this. in general people that take there own lives are very selfish as its the people that are left behind have to deal with it, a cry for help, well you can only help as much as the other person will let you, we have no medical training and are unable to lock someone away for there own sake, the highest rate of suicide is in teanage boys I know this is a fact as I did a study on it in college some years ago, but this dosent help the pain for family members or friends, one thing is for sure we are all in controle of our own lives and we are in the driving seat to take the direction that our life becomes, sometimes we make bad choices but dont always know its a bad choice untill we have had time to reflect back on them. But the main thing is not to dwell on them move on and remember the good times. No matter how many times you go over this the person will not come back so what does it achieve by living with guilt, this may sound a little cold hearted to some of you but there is some wisdom in my words. Its also true that time is a healer it may take many years but the pain will subside. Many of us have had to deal with personal tradegies in our lives and some people are better at talking than others, but the support from family, friends, and even counselling are always a blessing. Lea
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Re: Situation Topic

Post  Spawny on Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:55 am

I disagree on the fact that the person taking his own life is selfish. Loads of people like to think that way. My best friend commits suicide, its selfish of him leaving me behind like this, leaving his friends behind like this (this is an example) ... Its not. God (as i like to explain it) gave you a life, your allowed to do with it what you want. But keep in mind he says, it was given by me (God) and if you throw it away i will punish you. The thing is.. If a person decides to end his life, he/she most likely got a very good reason for them. It may seem to you/others that its not, but to the person it is.

Dont be angry with them for doing so. In the end its not about the happyness of all of us to decide if he/she could do that. Whats the point of having a person that feels unhappy, sad, lost, ect ect day in day out and doesnt want to go on? Who are we to decide that he/she should do that? I think its selfish of ourselfs to think that they are selfish. We want them to stay with us... but apparently they dont want to. Obviously im tired right now as im writing this, so my spelling/grammar, maybe even my point might not be clear enough.

Anyways, im being annoyed by some retarde virus i got from a friend on msn today.. last time i ever accept something there.

~ Spawny
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Re: Situation Topic

Post  Spawny on Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:31 pm

Im just making this post so that i have one more post then Anna :>

\o/ hurray 1 more then Anna !!! wohooooo
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